A leading source for news and analysis about Mexico and the U.S.-Mexican border.
David Letterman: "Republicans still will not admit that they underestimated the power of the Hispanic vote. As a matter of fact, Latinos are calling this 'Cinco Deny-o.' "
Letterman also showed Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan wearing a Mexican charro hat and changing his first name to Pablo.
"In Mexico, the loser of their presidential election has now accused the winner of election fraud. He says the winner bought millions of votes, to which Mitt Romney said, 'You can do that? What am I traveling around the country for?' "
I didn't expect anything else
That's what I predicted
If the truth must be told,
His Amorous Republic never existed.
"California is so broke that people from Tijuana are coming here now to watch donkey shows."
"Officials in Colombia are reporting cases involving a new drug. The drug is called devil's breath. They say it robs people of memory and free will. We have that; it's called tequila."
Another goof in the U.S. film tableau
discovered by a movie maven.
The next thing you know
Maximilian will be clean-shaven.
Caton's original, and far better, Spanish verse (PDF).
The movie, called "For Greater Glory" in the U.S. and "Cristiada" in Mexico, has Panamanian singer Rubén Blades as Calles. Set in the 1920s, it also features Andy Garcia, Eva Longoria, Peter O’Toole and Eduardo Verastegui.
"Well, in a stunning announcement, the Pew Hispanic Center says that the net migration flows from Mexico to the United States have stopped after 40 years. In fact, after 6 million illegal immigrants came here, the flow has now reversed, there are more people going back. Do you know what that means? By the year 2015, women in Beverly Hills might actually have to raise their own children. It's shocking, shocking."
Story on the Pew Hispanic Center report.
Update, April 26: "For the first time in decades, the number of illegal immigrants from Mexico has gone down. Do you know what that means? The lettuce you're now eating may have been picked by a guy named Trevor." (From April 25 "Tonight Show")
Skilled in this area I am not,
But I will say this without disdain:
In López Obrador's six-year campaign
Perhaps he has spent a lot.
The original, and far better, Spanish.
Story on what aircraft presidential candidates are using.
To understand this, one must know that the political party formed by national teachers union leader Elba Esther Gordillo is called the New Alliance Party, also known as Panal.
Education is bad: Reading, math and science,
Say experts who have erudition.
They also say, with conviction,
"The proof is in the New Alliance."
The original, and far better, Spanish (PDF).
That's the least of the curse
I was told by a reader
What is far worse
is that teachers don't read either
This news doesn't make me spin
His team doesn't seem to scare
The PRI front-runner will win
If he doesn't attend another book fair!
In Mexico, unfortunately,
according to the stats
there are too few athletes
and far too many bureaucrats
The original, and far better, Spanish (PDF)
"The Department of Homeland Security has deported 397,000 illegal immigrants last year. And listen to this, they are threatening to deport them again this year."
"He is so rich that his illegal immigrants even have illegal immigrants working for them."
The Mexican humor columnist Catón writes:
"López Obrador likes baseball."
Andrés Manuel has been saying it forever,
Baseball's the sport he likes to tout.
What he doesn't like, however,
is when they say "The mighty AMLO has struck out."
"Well the U.S. has expanded travel warnings to Mexico to almost half the country now. In fact, American tourists are pretty nervous. In fact, they say Americans walking around Mexico are almost as nervous as Mexicans walking around Arizona."
The Mexican humorist Catón :
"...México has the tallest bridge in the world..."
And so that they won't bring charges against us,
but in the realm of bridges
we are the most competent:
We also make them long ."
The original, and far better, Spanish.
Catón is making reference to the cable-stayed Baluarte bridge in Sinaloa state on the new Mazatlán-Durango superhighway, but also using a play on the word bridges, which in Mexico also refers to Mexicans' propensity to extend a holiday into the weekend before or after it. That has been a factor in reducing Mexican productivity. Mexican teachers are infamous for taking the days in between off. Governments have in recent years been moving the days holidays are observed contiguous to the weekend to reduce "puentes," or bridges.
The 3,688-foot-long Baluarte bridge in Sinaloa state has a maximum drop of 1,321 feet from the deck to the bottom of the gorge below. The bridge was dedicated by President Felipe Calderón on Jan. 5: Story, El Mexicano (PDF). Jump.
Previous story on the bridge in MexicoPerspective.
Jay Leno on Friday night also joked about the bridge on NBC's "The Tonight Show," saying: "And Mexico has just completed construction of a bridge that is one of the world's highest. In fact, it clears the fence along our border by a good 50 feet."
The latest edition of El Chamuco deals with the issue of casinos, and its cover has President Felipe Calderón hitting a jackpot on a slot machine: Unfortunately, though, the jackpot is of three skulls, in reference to the 52 killed in the Casino Royale arson massacre in Monterrey in August.
The magazine also has an article called ''Mexganistán,'' which makes comparisons between Mexico and Afghanistan. It talks of Mexganistán's main tribes, the prishtunes (represented by PRI Sen. Manlio Fabio Beltrones wearing a turban) and the panushtunes (represented by PAN politician Diego Fernández de Cevallos, also wearing a turban and the long flowing beard he was pictured wearing when he was released after a ransom was paid to his kidnappers last year.) The magazine also referred to the perreshtunes, which it said were divided in innumerable subtribes. (The main tribal groups in Afghanistan are the Pashtuns and the Tajiks.) The story notes that Mexganistán is extremely violent and grows plants that can be made into illicit drugs for sale in other countries, just as occurs in Afghanistan and Mexico. It also had a photo of new U.S. Ambassador to Mexico Anthony Wayne, who just left his deputy ambassador post in Afghanistan. It (jokingly) called the new ambassador the "son of the audacious John Wayne." (Tony Wayne was sworn in this week: Story in El Mexicano).
Jay Leno: "Scientists say they have found strong evidence that Texas and Antarctica were once joined together.
"In fact, early Mexicans used to go through Texas to sneak into Antarctica."
(The joke got a hearty laugh from the studio audience).
National Geographic on the Texas-Antarctica link.
Station left viewers hanging See story
Jay Leno on the "Tonight Show" Tuesday: "The (U.S.) economy is so bad that nobody snuck in from Mexico today."
From Monday: "According to Mexican government, the unemployment rate is so low, 4.9%, illegal immigrants in the U.S. are now moving back to Mexico to escape our 9.4% unemployment. See, Obama is a genius, he has now solved our illegal immigration problem....
"I'll tell you how bad it is. Now Mexico is thinking about building a wall."
The humor columnist Catón wrote about someone he has a date with every day who also does not happen to be his wife: Miss Alud.
Miss Alud could be literally translated as Miss Landslide or Miss Avalanche. But Catón, 73, pointed out that he actually was referring to "Mi Salud" — My Health. Catón, also known as Armando Fuentes Aguirre, said his date consists of walking with Miss Alud for half an hour at 6 a.m. He lives in Saltillo in Coahuila state.
One wonders what would have happened to the perpetrator in Singapore....
This sign was on Avenida Revolución south of Sanborns.
Story about the gum-tossing prohibition. Jump page. (The El Mexicano story, which ran days after the above photo was published, has a photo of the same sign, but does not note that the sign has gum stuck on it.)
The Mexican humor magazine El Chamuco, in its June 27 edition, had a page authored by El Fer titled: "7 other accusations Hank Rhon could face:"
Background: Caliente racetrack operator and former Tijuana Mayor Jorge Hank Rhon, whom a federal judge released June 14 on charges of possessing an illegal arsenal of weapons and whom a state judge released later the same day from house arrest in a murder case, has a large family and a private zoo. He has been accused (although not in court) of allegedly laundering money for drug cartels; this has not been proven. In 1988, his bodyguards killed a journalist for the weekly newspaper Zeta. Hank is the son of one of Mexico's most famous politicians, former Mexico state governor and former Mexico City Mayor Carlos Hank González. Hank Rhon is a member of the Institutional Revolutionary Party, which held the presidency from 1929 to 2000, and may win it back next year.
The Seven Accusations (can be seen at El Fer's website):
1. For having an arsenal, but of children and contributing to overpopulation. (Hank has 19 children; five are from his wife's previous marriage, however)
2. For mistreating animals (that is, making the military and the Attorney General's Office look ridiculous)
3. Because his football team, the Xoloitzcuintles of Tijuana, made it to the first division of soccer *
4. For using the Caliente racetrack as a laundry.
5. For misogyny. It is known that he has taken advantage of a lady named Justice on various occasions.
6. For promoting practices injurious to health and morality when he drinks his tequila with tiger penises. Hank is known to drink tequila steeped with lion and tiger penises.
7. For being the prodigal son of that autocratic party that massacred students and disappeared opponents and threatens to return to Los Pinos (the Mexican White House). This item refers to the 1968 Tlaltelolco massacre and disappearances of political opponents, which reached their apex in the 1970s. **
* It is not clear why this is funny, although some might not find any of these funny; El Fer's humor is his own and does not represent MexicoPerspective. Perhaps El Fer was rooting for the León or Irapuato soccer teams the Xolos beat on their way to making it to the first division, or perhaps he is a fan of Necaxa, the Aguascalientes team sent down when the Xolos moved up? El Fer, also known as Fernando de Anda, says he was born in 1977 in Chilangotitlán (Mexico City), was spoiled or raised badly in the arid hills and exotic bars of Tijuana and then was tropicalized in Xalapa, the capital of Veracruz state. He also draws for Excelsior.
** It is not clear why this is funny either.
Brozo the clown tweets: brozoxmiswebs
"The new home for the (Mexican) Senate cost $3 million. There are leaks, there aren't bathrooms and it reeks of sewage. Was this a construction error or divine justice?"
Jaime Flores Martínez writes in his Cicuta (Hemlock) column that some fans of the Xolos soccer team are upset that the club sponsored by Jorge Hank Rhon's Grupo Caliente might have its named changed to "Arsenal of Tijuana."
Cicuta column in El Mexicano
Former Tijuana Mayor Jorge Hank Rhon's father, former Mexico City Mayor and Mexico state Gov. Carlos Hank González, was famous for having said: "A politician who is poor is a poor politician." That phrase from a man who became wealthy after becoming a politician came in many ways to symbolize the Institutional Revolutionary Party. After Hank Rhon was recently detained on suspicion of possessing illegal weapons, the Democratic Revolution Party candidate for Mexico state governor, Alejandro Encinas, had this to say: "Now we've gone from 'A politician who is poor is a poor politician' to 'A politician who is armed is a poor politician.' "
Universal story Jorge Hank developments
What is so funny about this bumper sticker? Nothing, really, except for that someone at the Tijuana rally to support Jorge Hank Rhon after his arrest on suspicion of possessing illegal arms put it on my back, where many must have laughed at me ("Se rieron de mí") until a good soul decided to tell me about it and removed it.
It was believed, however, that the bumper stickers at right were not stuck on these two women without their knowledge.
Jay Leno: "Mexican authorities today pulled over two huge tractor-trailers at the U.S. border and a search of the trucks found over 500 immigrants stuffed inside — all of them housekeepers hoping to have a baby with Arnold (Schwarzenegger)."
President Felipe Calderón is asked by a journalist: "You recently met with the pope and with President Barack Obama. Which meeting did you enjoy more?"
Calderón answers: "The meeting with the pope, because I only had to kiss his ring."
Luis Alonso Pérez writes in Zeta: "To drive in Tijuana without falling into a big pothole has become a test of the ability of border drivers in recent weeks."
Hmm, maybe that is not so funny. Frontera's story about potholes on Monday, March 14, 2011.
And on March 16, the new PRI government in Tijuana ran an ad showing a big pothole, saying this was the legacy the previous PAN government had left it. What was really funny about that was that the photo of the pothole was taken in Guadalajara.
Andrés Manuel López Obrador, the former Mexico City mayor who lost the 2006 presidential election by a razor-thin margin to Felipe Calderón, challenged the results and proclaimed himself the legitimately elected president of Mexico in a ceremony in which he was draped with a presidential sash.
López Obrador was in Tijuana on Monday, March 7, to meet with the Movimiento Regeneración Nacional López Obrador 2012 in the Masonic Lodge in the downtown area.
The cartoonists' magazine El Chamuco is irreverent, has politics way to the left and probably too much nudity. But it often hits the nail on the head when it comes to Mexican humor. Its Feb. 21, 2001 issue was a case in point. Much of the issue was devoted to Freedom of Expression (Libertad de Expresión) in the wake of Carmen Aristegui's firing from MVS Radio after she asked President Felipe Calderón to address longstanding rumors that he drank too much. (After a great hue and cry, and charges that Calderón was behind the firing, she was rehired.) Both are featured on the cover and the president also is featured on the back cover, passed out with a spilled drink in front of a wall bearing the logo "Beber Mejor," (Drink Better), a play off the government program "Vivir Mejor," (Live Better.) El Chamuco's editorial on the Aristegui issue.
One section of the magazine by the cartoonist Rapé turned the phrase "Libertad de Expresión" (Freedom of Expression) essentially into "Libertad de Presión" (Freedom of Pressure) by partially fading out the letters "ex," and also showed a caricature of a journalist interviewing a man with a gun for a head.
After a period of time, back issues of the magazine can be read online. Perhaps it is to be commended that telecommunications magnate Carlos Slim, named by Forbes as the the richest men in the world, sells the magazine in the book and magazine section of his Sanborn's restaurant/store chain, despite the beating he often takes in the pages of El Chamuco.
Sign seen at the intersection of the Vía Rápida Poniente and Lázaro Cárdenas in Tijuana:
"Cambio de Aceite y Tu Nap"
(Oil Change and Tune-up)